Two Types of People (Haiku)

Warning: There are two types of people in the world. Some read from top to bottom, and others read from bottom to top.                   
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I really hate life
And I would never say that
Life is pretty cool

Cope

My life is a perfect mix of happiness and depression

Like when freedom meets oppression 

Or when secrets meet confession

I just cant have one without the second

Everything goes so smooth

Like high grades in school

But then my happiness decides to move...or just go away for a while

Then next thing you know, my engine making strange sounds

So i just turn the radio up, but my car breaks down

Here we go again

Outside with my head in the hood

And my watery eyes in a stare 

But my eyes only watery because its pollen in the air

Don't get it twisted. 

So I take it to the shop

They say 350 dollars

Few hours later, I pay it then get in my car and start it 

Guess what

Same fuggin problem 

Manager says "well i told you its not a guarantee"

I looked at the front desk lady, she said "I'm sleep"

I said "Mama, come slap this fools into next week"

Speaking of next week, that's when my paper was due

But then i realized, only last week that was true 

I wrote that reminder about a week ago

Man i just wanna shmurder myself

Whats wrong with my Life

I just can't get right 

I really can't get right, and that's a bit of shame

But i guess that's the reason for my twitter name

And then i gotta write these poems everyday

So don't trip if they late

Then i gotta meet deadlines for my frat

And this sharp pain returned to my back

Cant really move but i still gotta pack

Because the negativity in your life can't control how you act

We need pain to enjoy peace

We need exhaustion to enjoy sleep

We need sickness to appreciate health

But u need nothing to appreciate self

Allow yourself to be happy even in the worst times

Because there is always somebody out there dealing with worse times

So just smile until the day you're taking your hurst ride

Life is a perfect mixture of happiness and depression.

But which one will be your lasting impression?

Old World

They say "things are getting crazy out here" 

Nah bruh. Things been crazy out here

Since the cavemen days people been killing and stealing

The only things that changed are society's feelings

Also some laws and societal rules

Like today you can't just challenge a man to a dual

But back then that was cool

Back then whole continents of people were killed off

Ask the Native Americans about it

And slavery was a way of life before people realized it wasn't right

Ask my great grandmother about it 

The strange fruit hanging from the tress 

The blood dripping from the leaves

The whip marks on the backs of little babies

Nah bruh. Things been crazy

There's nothing new under the sun

So all the crazy things you hear these days have already been done

Including the things that were never brought in the light about those days

So there's also nothing new in the shade

We just have better communication 

We hear about the evil people all over the nation

In 'those' days there were no video surveillance

No live reporting on tv stations

Basically all word of mouth

So you know it has to be a bunch of crazy ish that no one ever heard about 

But these days we hear about everything

Gossip like we're 17 

And talk like experts about events we never seen

We're in love with violence, just look at that blood diamond on your wedding ring

We all think the world is coming to an ending

But the world been crazy from the beginning 

Its not "getting crazy"

You're just finally realizing whats in it 

* 3 *

Igno E'rant

Long ago there was a king named  Igno E'rant 

Head held high wherever he went 

Controlled all the power

And owned every cent 

Statues of Igno, every inch

Reminders of the king on every bench

The smell of E'rant in every scent 

Look in the sky

This is the most important part of this story. 

The King's name "Igno E'rant"

was held high above the city

Every letter was on a building 

Every letter was made from fine crystal 

Every letter was worth nine tristals 

You see the tristals are like money 

And 1 tristal is the same as 1 million dollars

Oh yea. I forgot to tell you.

This is in another universe about 3 million years ago 

The King, Igno E'Rant, was not a man, not a person, not a human

Igno E'Rant was a beetle 

And his town was populated by millions of ants

The ants were always under his control

The ants had no rights and no say

The ants did all the work and no play

Igno E'rant paid the ants to work and NEVER talk to him

He was treated more than a king...he was a god to them

He was the biggest creature on the land, so he would never acknowledge them 

He would ignore ant 

Also in this town there were harmless but evil gnats

Too weak to cause any real harm 

But they hated Igno and the ants both

The Igno E'rant hated looking up in the air and seeing the gnats float, and fly, and glide

But he never worried about them ever being any trouble

But back to the King's Crystal Name 

The expensive letters were not all the same 

You see, the letter E was the center of his name 

4 letters left 4 letters right 

That letter was worth 30 tristals. 

The ants prayed that it never fall down

The E was the most talked about thing of the town

So many rumors about it.

The rumors were like the gnats 

They annoying floated around 

The E was worshipped and praised

The ants worked all day 

Then went to stare at the E, amazed

Then every family went home and got ready for the next day of work

But one day a young ant stayed longer than the others

He kept staring at the E, but then noticed something above it 

It was a gnat

He ran to tell his parents

His father ran to see what the commotion was about 

He was the leader ant of the town

There wasn't just one gnat the ant could see

There were thousand of gnats flying around this letter E

The ant soon found out that gnats were trying to drop the E onto the ground 

They were unscrewing the screws keeping the E attached to the building 

The ant ran to tell King Igno

He was yelling to him from outside his window

The King heard him yelling but didnt know what he was saying and didnt care.

The ant kept going. He would not give up until King E'rant was aware 

After a 3 hours of ignoring the ant the King woke up to a loud shattering sound 

King Igno E'rant walked outside and cried as he saw that the letter E fell down

After 30 minutes of tears and silence, the king read his name, this time with no E in his last name

Igno rant

This showed him why he got what he deserved

Moral of the story: Dont ignore ant. Because your E will drop. And in turn, you will be ignorant.

2

Fun Police Brutality

Fun Police Brutality

 

I got some bad news for you
The fun police are increasing employment at a rapid rate 

Social media officers patrolling the TL making sure no jokes are made 

Insta-detectives searching through your comments 

And posting fliers about not falling for April fool's non-sense 

Synonymous with sensitive and serious

The letters lol makes the pissed off and furious 

And they hate sarcasm, because they don't understand it

So they call you ignorant for your 140 characters of ranting 

Online warriors can be so commanding 

Seriousness is just so demanding 

Jokes are just so out of style.

You gotta be completely normal.

If not, your stupid. 

I mean you're*

You can't make grammar mistakes 

Or else you'll be given an asterisk

Sent to a correctional office to correct your word usage 

Because, you know, twitter was made for professional use only.

I guess I'm ignorant now, sarcasm not detected

So they pull up to my mentions

No more innocence now, i guess that I'm arrested 

Sent to twitter jail

Locked behind metaphorical bars of sociological oppression 

They want to take away our means of expression 

They dare us to be different

But when we are...we are insane

So we just say that we're different

Everybody says they're different... so we are the same 

Just imagine if you told them how you really feel

Jet fuel can't burn any steel

Yea that tweet was offensive...but I found it funny still

If I could turn invisible... There's money I'd probably steal

But we both know the outcome of that

So let's just all be normal and pretend we're good people

And pray away of this senseless tumor

Formerly known as a sense of humor

Currently known as a sense of stupor 

I'm just so immature

Or childish

Calm down, you should be more mildish

Please, no more smiling

Grow up.

Because real men don't laugh. 

Its not funny. 

Everything is offensive. 

All jokes are too far.

You're ignorant.

Life is serious. 

You have to be serious. 

So no more fun on social sites.

1